I died the other day, I did my father Saturn proud
In my coffin I saw God. And he said "hello"
Little did I know i was looking at me
But a clear memory.
Was I ashamed? Did we go to far
Playing innocent at the scene of Hansels death
And they crucified me, but i dont believe
That we were ever ever alive.
Im just a cat
Who's sold so many tongues
And after a while, ill build a cross of gold
And they will sing hallelujah
I will salute to my T.V.
It's even more real than me
You may aswell be dead, i wouldnt know unless youre televised
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WARNING - THIS MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO RELIGIOUS FOLK
God bless you! God bless us! God bless America!
God: Seriously guys, i cant take it any more. Stop telling me to do stuff. Like, I have a life too! I cant keep blessing people everytime some bastard sneezes. All you motherfuckers pray to me every night, cant a guy jack off in peace? yeah, praise the lord and all that crap, I dont care about you. Alright, im over it. Screw this. Ill hand you over to the TV now. Im going to do some cocaine.
NEWSFLASH
God was found dead, overdosed, at his mansion in Holywood this morning at 7.06AM.
HEADLINES
REALITY GAME SHOW STARTING SOON
-THE BIG MAN-
Gameshow, 6.00PM, Join host Charlie Sheen as he searches for a new God amoung the 7 contestants. To sign up for this game show ring (07) 1234 5689. N0 females.
THE BIG MAN GAME SHOW HAS FOUND OUR NEW GOD
LUCIFER TAKES THE SEAT
METEOR HEADED TOWARDS EARTH! GOD TAKEN IN SPACE SHUTTLE TO LIVE IN THE SUN
LAST DAY ON EARTH
-Commet hits- Tv ratings through the roof.
Humanity dies (if it wasnt already dead)
Life forms evolve again
Some dude called jesus comes along.
Lucifer dies in the sun, plants some explosives while hes there.
Lucifer decides to take his rage out on humanity.
through the dogmatic power of elders beliefs, the elders force their views onto children
Children live in fear, pass their fear onto their own children some day.
Everyone is in fear
Society stops going outside
television ratings skyrocket
Media creates a fake world, televises destruction in the world, telling people not to go outside
Media rules the world
The television is your god
Sounds like a load of crap. But if i package it well enough. It will sell... And they will eat, just like they devoured the bible, tastes like chicken they said.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paranoia knocks at the door
The bastard is breaking and entering
I know why though.
And i can see right through it
How silly, its only been two days
But we cant do anything about it
theres no signs that it is slowing
so by far, it must be extending
growing closer, and closer
Perhaps i could feel the breath on the back of my neck
when it whispers sweetly
Hello
But i choose not to
BUT IT DOSENT CARE!
WHY ME, I DONT WANT TO BECOME WHAT I HATE
BUT WHAT I HATE IS ME
CANT I LIVE MY LIFE, IN THE EYES OF OTHERS
Hello paranoia, pleased to meet you
My name is... Shit, i forgot
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Location: Managers office
Time: 12:50 PM
Description: The manager has found a new "employee"
Manager: Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, new here are you? (Fumbles paperwork around)
?????: Why, yes sir (Fidgety)
Manager: Are you aware of what we do. Mister.... (Looks at papers) Paddlefoot
Mr. Paddlefoot: I have heard sir, but forgive me, i cant quite seem to come to terms with it
Manager: Ah yes, we do get that alot, you see dear boy....
Mr. Paddlefoot: Yes?
Manager: Ah, dont worry. You will find out when we take you on the tour...
Mr. Paddlefoot: Oh, goody
Manager: Boy, tell me, what do you know of... Soup?
Mr. Paddlefoot: Well, I have alot experience in making soup sir, i used to make it with my Grandma
Manager: Ah, good, yes, good., now, if you will just sign here, and here.... Thankyou, all shall become clear to you very shortly
(Manager takes Mr Paddlefoot on the "Tour")
(Secretary enters)
Secretary: Oh, there you are, am I to dispose of the clothing now sir?
Manager: Ah yes, now if you will please leave me be. I am with our guest, Mister Paddlefoot
Secretary: But, there is no one here sir?
Manager: Ahem... (Points to his soup)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE MEANING OF LIFE
It might shock you to find out this. But recently... I found out the meaning of life!
So, i would explain it but. you dont need to know, there is a meaning which cannot be comprehended in this life. Therefore i wont say it. Because i know it is something i cannot understand. And you will never know. So next time you question the meaning of life. Please realise that nobody is smart enough to understand it even if it were told to them. If infact someone did find this out, and was able to comprehend it, they would realise that they would be eaten. Please find enclosed one toaster.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WHY ARE WE HERE
Because you werent invited to the party
Please find enclosed one happy fun rock
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DIE
Youre already dead. Dont ask me. Mabye if you die when youre dead, you might start living. We only realy die when we loose hope and fail to find happyness. Yours scincerely, The Blue Power Ranger.
Please find enclosed, One soul (Spend it wisely)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ZEBRA!
yes, i am aware of them. they hibernate in my sock drawer. And when summer arrives (They like to have a lie in through spring) they make quite a ruckus.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay. I will never see you again...
I know... im sorry it had to end like this, i have to leave now, my boat departs in half an hour
But wait, before you go...
Yes?
I have some information, that will be of much use
Do go on...?
If in any of your travells, you encounter a Giraffe with a short neck...
...
Its probably not a Giraffe
Please find enclosed, one punch in the face
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As I roll this stone you left in my mind
I tell Sisyphus to pick up the slack
Some of us are born to die
Well ill die trying to live
When I am called for, I have my coins ready
To cross this sea of torment
You crumpled my monologue
Which can't be perfect anymore
And I see through tour act
A tale, a false tradgedy
Seen through the eyes of a Jester
With both blinded by fog
The storm will leave no trace of water
Just a bloodied corpse of you
